Real Dubai Bride Maja Lunsjo: Post Wedding Blues
Our BCME Diary Of A Real Bride contributor, Maja, is back! We followed Maja’s wedding planning journey right up until the big day itself, last November, through her monthly BCME diary features. But now Maja is back to talk about what happens after you’ve said ‘I do’, and in particular, the notorious wedding blues.
You can check out Maja’s stunning Dubai wedding at Al Qasr Jumeirah Dubai in our Real Weddings section here.
Read on to find out how Maja coped with, and got over, her post wedding blues. Over to you Maja! …
On the morning after my wedding I woke up euphoric. Everything had gone perfectly. I know they say no weddings go completely to plan and you have to be ready for mishaps and surprises, but in my mind our wedding truly had been flawless. I honestly don’t think I have ever been as happy as I was that morning.
On the second day after my wedding I woke up happy but a little stressed. We were moving out of our bridal suite and heading back home. There was lots to pack, guest pickups to arrange and I spent the entire day in project management mode.
On the third day, I woke up crying.
My husband looked stunned as I tried to explain (between blowing my nose and wiping away my tears), “Don’t you get it? I am not a bride anymore. I am a… I’m a wife!” More tears and more nose wiping ensued. He didn’t get it.
See this is the part of wedding planning that no matter how much anybody warns you, it still hits you like a punch in the face. After two years of having had almost every conversation and every thought somehow related to this one event, the abrupt way in which it is was suddenly just over, had left me with what I can only describe as a terrible, nostalgic hole. It was like I had experienced a two year high and now I was crashing down into a boring routine where I would never again get to answer “how are the plans for your big day coming along?” Because in my dramatic mind, there was no big day coming, there was only monotonous, repetitive, boring days. I was heartbroken.
As I self-pityingly began clearing out our apartment of wedding planning memorabilia, from my pin board to my “Bride” headband, I decided that I needed a new project. Something to keep me focused and to look forward to.
8 months later and having (almost) recovered from my self diagnosed post-wedding depression, here are my top tips to help you get over your wedding blues slump.
♡ Get Away ♡
Contrary to tradition a lot of newlyweds are opting for later honeymoons rather than heading straight to the airport after their nuptials. There are a lot of arguments for this, it gives you a chance to save up for a bigger travel budget, and that it gives you something to look forward to after the wedding. While I completely agree with both of these points, I would highly recommend booking at least a mini-moon as soon after your wedding as possible. Chris and I both headed straight back to our normal routine with work, chores and real adult responsibilities for two weeks before going on our honeymoon and we both wish we had left sooner. Even if just a staycation in a nice hotel close to home, try to get away for a few days.
♡ Hire A Good Videographer ♡
Our wedding video arrived about 6 weeks after the event. We popped open a bottle of bubbly, lit some candles and sat down to watch the entire thing from beginning to end. Being able to relive the day really helped because somehow it was like having that video meant the wedding would never actually be truly over.
♡ Weekly Date Nights ♡
Something I hadn’t anticipated was how much I missed my cozy planning evenings with Chris! Sitting on the floor surrounded by magazine clippings debating wine selections or laughing over terrible first dance choices had become a highlight of my week. To keep this going we came up with the idea of a weekly date night, but with a surprise element. Each week we take turns planning a surprise date night for each other. Sometimes they are as simple as a cinema night and sometimes a little more extravagant (like barhopping from one end of the Palm crescent to the other). It is a fun way of keeping that connection and getting our quality time whilst also trying new things.
♡ Set New Goals And Crush Them ♡
I didn’t realize how much time I was dedicating to wedding planning until I no longer had a wedding to plan. No weekend vendor meetings, no evening discussions about color samples, no lunchtime florist phone calls. Before the wedding planning, these moments would most likely have been filled with ‘downtime’, like Netflix. I decided that instead of allowing myself to go back into that routine, I would apply it to something more productive. I set two large goals for myself, one for work (adding a new large client to my portfolio that I had been eyeing up for a while), and one personal goal (getting a qualification in interior design). I then channeled as much of my energy as I could into these goals to ensure I crushed them and to keep me focused. I got the client, and I am one project away from graduating as an interior designer.
♡ Take Time For Reflection ♡
Ask yourself, why is it that you are feeling down? It may be that the issue is not just post-wedding blues, but actually something more specific. Are you upset because your friends and family are no longer there? Make plans to visit them! Is the thought of going back to work after the wedding stressing you out? Then you might need to reevaluate your career options. Do you miss the attention? This one is a little harder to address, but it’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with missing being the center of attention. Speak to your other bride friends and I am sure you will find that to some extent they felt the same. But whatever you do….
♡ Mourn ♡
The last and final tip; cry it out! It is okay to feel sad after the wedding is over. What it means is that you enjoyed the planning process and you enjoyed your day. In fact, if you weren’t sad then I would be more concerned because you probably didn’t have a very good time planning it. Being said about it being over means you cared. So cry it out. Then get up, brush yourself off, and get onto the next big thing.